As I stood in line at Market Basket last week, the guy in front of me peered into my cart and asked: “You got a cat?” The visuals of my purchases — six cans of 9-Lives sliced beef in gravy, a 3-lb. bag of Friskies dry food and a store-made spicy tuna sushi roll (trust me on this: Market Basket sushi is good) — combined with my cat-hair-covered yoga pants made it pretty clear signs that I’m a cat lady. I was hungry and not in the best of moods (aka hangry), so I replied: “Nope, that’s my lunch.”
As I turned away, I realized I was being a bit of a jerk so I reengaged. “I’m kidding. I have cats.”
“Cats?,” he asked.
“Yes, I have 12.”
That response ceased all interest in his chatting me up, just as I intended.
Call my actions anti-social, or just plain rude, but I think we’ve all found ourselves in situations where we don’t feel like making small talk with people we know, let alone strangers. And if you haven’t felt this way, you’re probably on a short list for sainthood.
As for me, I’m in the express line that’s headed in the other direction. I’ve long been told I have an approachable, “friendly face” that people can open up to and tell just about anything to. (And trust me — some of the unsolicited information I’ve been on the receiving end of is too much info for even those awaiting sainthood to bear!)
I grin and nod my head through most of those uncomfortable scenarios; however, there are a few more common situations that I’m declaring conversations to be off limits.
Concerts: This may sound harsh, but if I pay $150+ to listen to Kendrick Lamar rhyme I don’t want to deal with the person beside me loudly rapping questions into my ear and sharing videos with me of the song that was just performed. I can’t hear what you’re saying and I’m not there to listen to you anyway. This can also be applied to movies, games, and pretty much any other event that I bought a ticket to. Save those conversations for the concession line (where I will still pretend I can’t hear you).
Uber/taxi rides: This is nothing personal against livery drivers, but we are trapped in a car together so one awkward comment can make for an uncomfortable ride. I’ve watched far too many episodes of Law & Order and Dateline NBC to feel comfortable answering questions like, “Is this your house?,” “Do you live here alone?,” or “How long will you be out of town?” Let’s make a deal upfront, I will immediately give you a 5-star rating and a nice tip if we can both remain silent for our ride together.
Dentist office: I am one of those masochists who enjoys going to the dentist and looks forward to my twice-a-year visits. The dentist and staff are pleasant and personable. We usually share life updates as I climb into the chair and prior to the cleaning, but once hands are in my mouth along with a sharp metal object or two, let’s agree to stop chatting or at least to a one-way conversation with no questions asked (unless they can be answered with a subtle head nod or wince). It’s just not worth choking down a mouthful of paste or risking a severed tongue (or me accidentally biting your finger off) to chime in on what my favorite restaurant is.
If you can agree to those no conversation zones, I’ll try my best to live up to my friendly-face status and will start carrying snacks in my purse to avoid future “hangry” moments like what happened in the supermarket line. But, please don’t approach me while I’m eating those snacks — I also won’t talk with my mouth full.
As I turned away, I realized I was being a bit of a jerk so I reengaged. “I’m kidding. I have cats.”
“Cats?,” he asked.
“Yes, I have 12.”
That response ceased all interest in his chatting me up, just as I intended.
Call my actions anti-social, or just plain rude, but I think we’ve all found ourselves in situations where we don’t feel like making small talk with people we know, let alone strangers. And if you haven’t felt this way, you’re probably on a short list for sainthood.
As for me, I’m in the express line that’s headed in the other direction. I’ve long been told I have an approachable, “friendly face” that people can open up to and tell just about anything to. (And trust me — some of the unsolicited information I’ve been on the receiving end of is too much info for even those awaiting sainthood to bear!)
I grin and nod my head through most of those uncomfortable scenarios; however, there are a few more common situations that I’m declaring conversations to be off limits.
Concerts: This may sound harsh, but if I pay $150+ to listen to Kendrick Lamar rhyme I don’t want to deal with the person beside me loudly rapping questions into my ear and sharing videos with me of the song that was just performed. I can’t hear what you’re saying and I’m not there to listen to you anyway. This can also be applied to movies, games, and pretty much any other event that I bought a ticket to. Save those conversations for the concession line (where I will still pretend I can’t hear you).
Uber/taxi rides: This is nothing personal against livery drivers, but we are trapped in a car together so one awkward comment can make for an uncomfortable ride. I’ve watched far too many episodes of Law & Order and Dateline NBC to feel comfortable answering questions like, “Is this your house?,” “Do you live here alone?,” or “How long will you be out of town?” Let’s make a deal upfront, I will immediately give you a 5-star rating and a nice tip if we can both remain silent for our ride together.
Dentist office: I am one of those masochists who enjoys going to the dentist and looks forward to my twice-a-year visits. The dentist and staff are pleasant and personable. We usually share life updates as I climb into the chair and prior to the cleaning, but once hands are in my mouth along with a sharp metal object or two, let’s agree to stop chatting or at least to a one-way conversation with no questions asked (unless they can be answered with a subtle head nod or wince). It’s just not worth choking down a mouthful of paste or risking a severed tongue (or me accidentally biting your finger off) to chime in on what my favorite restaurant is.
If you can agree to those no conversation zones, I’ll try my best to live up to my friendly-face status and will start carrying snacks in my purse to avoid future “hangry” moments like what happened in the supermarket line. But, please don’t approach me while I’m eating those snacks — I also won’t talk with my mouth full.
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