Picking the Hostess with the mostest

There is no need to wait for the Topsfield Fair to open this fall: Hostess is selling deep-fried Twinkies in the frozen food aisle through an exclusive partnership with Wal-Mart.

The prepackaged, frozen Hostess treats, a sweet staple at carnivals and fairs, debuted yesterday at some of its stores and will go nationwide on Monday.

I went to the Wal-Mart on the Lynnway on Friday in search of the ready-to-heat delicacies, which are available in two flavors, original golden and chocolate. But I came up empty. Unfortunately, they won’t be available locally until next week.

The grand visions I had of popping the frozen crème-filled snacks into the office toaster oven and providing a full review, breaking my diet, for the sake of the story, of course, will have to wait. But I did pick up a basket full of other Hostess products for the staff to tide us over until next week. The gesture sparked a heated newsroom debate: Which Hostess treat reigns supreme?

After much discussion and a calorie-fest, we ranked our pile of Hostess desserts in order of best to worst with some comments to back up our selections.

1. Chocolate Cupcakes: It’s no surprise that one of Hostess’ most popular offerings, the chocolate cupcake, ranks No. 1 among Item staff. What is shocking is how they prefer to eat their cake. There was a split between those who attack without  a strategy other than wolfing it down and those who strategically dissect the cupcake. The sweet surgeons prefer to first lift the thick coating of chocolate icing bearing the white squiggle from the moist chocolate cake, then set it aside to eat after they scoop out the vanilla crème and devour the cake.
2. Powdered Donettes: While often slotted into the breakfast category, these powdered treats work any time of day. But don’t try to sneak a bite discretely. You will undoubtedly be caught thanks to the trail of sweet white powder that will coat your fingers and face. And never attempt to eat a package without a large drink, preferably milk, nearby. The thick, hearty cake will stick right to the roof of your mouth, but it tastes so good while it’s stuck there.  
3. Ding Dongs: This chocolate-on-chocolate, crème-filled delight is often confused with its competitor, the Ring Ding. Both are shaped like hockey pucks.  If you nibble them slowly, the wax-like chocolate coating will coat your teeth. But cut open each and the champion becomes clear thanks to Ding Dongs’ plentiful crème-to-cake ratio.
4. Twinkies: Often described as the golden child of snack cakes, Twinkies ranked surprisingly low in the eyes of Item staffers. While there was not much appreciation for the spongy yellow cake infused with fluffy vanilla crème that has been a staple on gas station and convenience store shelves since the 1930s, no Twinkies were left uneaten after the poll. Go figure.    
5. Snoballs: These misspelled desserts are often dubbed the preferred snack of grandparents nationwide. That’s no surprise considering the snack, a half-sphere of chocolate cake infused with crème and coated in a layer of coconut-rolled marshmallow, debuted in 1947. It also may be because from the looks of things, many of those Snoball packages have been sitting on shelves since the Depression. All, but one Item staffer, agreed that Hostess Snoballs look like half-eaten tennis balls, and certainly should not be eaten.
6. Honeybun: It was unanimous: Hostess honeybuns are the worst and should not be eaten. Ever.